success [noun] – the attainment of wealth, favor, or eminence

Source: Merriam-Webster.com

 

 

 

We work so hard to be successful. That’s why we go to school, do our best to get promoted at work (even if it means becoming a corporate slave), meet people we don’t even like, and stress ourselves through the night trying to figure out how to make tomorrow better.

But WHAT IS SUCCESS?

Merriam-Webster describes it as “attaining wealth, favor, or eminence [high social status]”. Assuming that “wealthy” means having millions in the bank, only 1.1% of the global population can be considered successful. A university in Virginia contested this definition, saying it’s too outdated.

But this is how the media often portray success—a shining, shimmering collection of Tesla, Bulgari, Rolex, and whatever luxury endorsement your favorite Instagram celebrity recently wore.

That was how I imagined success to be growing up. I had dreams of owning a seven-bedroom house with an infinity pool in the most exclusive neighborhood. And maybe a vacation house somewhere in a private resort. Or traveling the world in a private jet, while staying in 5-star hotels in Paris, Tokyo, London, Dubai, New York—all the cities you see in blockbuster movies. This was the dream, or at least what I thought it should be.

When I studied college, I believed that getting a diploma was the key to a stable life. But it wasn’t even a guarantee.

When I started working, I realized a sadder truth: earning money is harder than the frown lines on the faces of distressed adults we knew when we were still clueless children. 

As I grew older, I saw success as an elusive dream. The more I struggled, the more painful, frustrating, and exhausting life seemed. Reality hit hard. So much so that I glorified the art of indolence just to escape my harsh reality.

Then I asked myself:

With a monthly income that is barely enough for my survival, how long will it take me to be a millionaire? 

How many delicious meals do I need to sacrifice until I earn my first million? How many millions do I need? Do I even need to be a millionaire?

Do I really need to work for more than 40 uninspiring hours every week until I retire at an age where all the fun I get are visits from my grandkids (if I ever marry)? 

All for the sake of chasing a lavish dream. 

And I wasn’t a genius like Mark Zuckerberg or Steve Jobs, so who knows whether I would ever succeed. 

Adulting even made life more confusing. Toxic office politics. Demotivating jobs. Overwhelming societal expectations every decent adult should bear.  

Adulting was soon wearing me out. 

Everything became meaningless. 

Life was not exciting anymore.

As I was making sense of my situation, I came across Dani Johnson’s “First Steps to Wealth”. And I realized that success means different to different people. That it wasn’t just about wealth, possessions, popularity, or expensive vacations. 

Success is deeper and more personal.  Success is that vision—a different dimension of reality—we have to create for ourselves.

For months, I contemplated my own definition of success. It’s no longer about finding the proverbial pot of gold. Neither is it pretending to be one of the Joneses just to impress my family, friends, enemies, and the whole social media world. In the process, I began to unload insurmountable mental, emotional, and financial pressure from myself. 

So what is success for me?

Success is finding our own happiness. It’s becoming the best version of ourselves in every aspect of life. It is finding meaning, joy, and peace amidst a brutal world.

Success is also not about working slave hours to get a promotion. It’s developing diligence, perseverance, character, creativity, and contentment. 

The journey begins

Creating our own vision of success is not a one-time eureka moment. It’s a journey of self-awakening. 

Sure, I still want a spacious house with a pool, though I don’t think I need seven bedrooms. I no longer dream of collecting meaningless luxuries just to impress people who don’t even matter to my happiness. And maybe I still want my personal helicopter or yacht…or maybe not—goals get added and replaced as I move forward in life. And that’s okay.

My definition of success is much more personal now: I want to enjoy memorable dinners with my family. Find trustworthy friendships that last. Make a difference in my community—no matter how little or big it is. Lastly, I want peace of mind and contentment every waking day of my life, not just after retirement.

The path to success won’t be easier. However, living for somebody else’s vision will make it longer and more tiring.

How about you? What’s your vision of success?

There are many ways to find out what “success” really means to you. Whichever way you follow, what’s important is to define it now.

If you don’t know how to start, here are some things you can do to find the success you really want in life:

Read your previous journals.

If you don’t have any, try writing one. You’d be amazed at how writing brings clarity to your thoughts, dreams, and passions. Walk down memory lane to find the things that gave you excitement when you were a kid, a teenager, a college student, an aspiring employee.

Write the dreams that resonate strongly with you.

It could be as grand as becoming the next president of X country or as simple as grooming your children to be happy adults. Regardless of the magnitude of your ambition, write them all. And it must go beyond material things. You must also dream of your eternal happiness and the happiness of the people you love.

Find clarity.

So you discovered that you have an endless list of dreams—and some are conflicting. Try to find similarities in them and see where these points intersect. Maybe you’ll find your serendipity.

If you have very few dreams,  that’s a great starting line to develop focus.

While looking at your list, ask yourself: 

What does success look like or feel like to you? Why do you want these things? 

Part of defining success is finding out the reason why we want things to happen. Then you will find the clarity you need to pursue what you want.

Create a dream strategy.

As they say, a dream without a plan is only a wish. Once you identify your life goals, create a strategy to achieve them—the timeline, how to fund them, anything that can turn your vision into reality. Make your plans as S.M.A.R.T (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, time-bound) as possible.

Lastly, commit to your goals.

The cemetery is filled with dead dreams and personal regrets of the after-lifers. You don’t want to be one of them.

True success will leave a lasting impact to the people around us and an inspiring legacy to the next generation.